Something’s Different. Something’s Not Right. Listen to Me.

Something’s different.

Don’t you hear that? Don’t you see the difference?

It’s not the same.

Something’s wrong.

Something’s changed.

Trust me, I know. I can tell. It’s not right.

I don’t care that the lab work is normal.

I don’t care that he looks good to you.

I don’t care that you’re an expert in illness.

I am the expert in him.

In our world of daily living.

We are one. I know something’s wrong.

I know his every breath.

I know what every sound means

I know where every pimple, pink spot, dark bruise, or open tear appears.

I know his smells-good and bad.

I know his body temp-good and bad.

I know his moods-good and bad.

I know his changes-good and bad.

Just like an artisan working his craft

I am an artisan of healing in his life.

I know him.

I know what works and what doesn’t.

I know how best to apply healing.

You need my help.

I keep you from making mistakes.

I stop you from assumptions that harm.

I am your partner not your enemy.

Use ME.

Something’s different.  Something’s not right.

Listen.      To.        Me.

Something’s wrong.

Advertisements
Posted in Ms Journey | 5 Comments

Sorry I Haven’t Been Able to Write Lately

I guess most of you who have read my column in the past think I’ve stopped writing.  I have to admit that I’ve considered whether I should do that because my time to do anything at all these days is so limited but the publishers of this site are so kind and they have asked me to share my stories whenever I get the opportunity so I’ll keep doing so for as long as I can.  Continue reading at: https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/caregiver-perspective-sorry-havent-been-able-wright-lately/

 

Posted in Ms Journey | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

What Goes In Must Come Out

One of the joys of having a progressive disease is that everything changes. Just as you adjust to one change, something happens and the “fix” you had in place is no longer working. As Lynn’s caregiver, I have not found his physician to be particularly helpful in warning me about things to come. If I ask about an issue, he will give me a prescription or a referral but he’s not much on home remedies or being proactive on warning on what I might encounter. Therefore, most solutions I come up with are things I stumble across and come up with myself and are not recommendations by doctors so you might want to talk to your doctor before you decide to do anything I mention here.

Now, my take on waste management…

Continue reading at: https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/what-goes-in-must-come-out/

Posted in Ms Journey, Physical effects | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Realities of Life

For the most part, our home life is fairly stable meaning we have the same things happening day in and day out. We have a routine – I get Lynn up for the morning and help him with his exercise, take him to the bathroom for his bowel regimen, put him back to bed and do a partial bath including skin care, and he takes a nap to recover from that activity. It takes about three hours to do all that. None of it is complex (except sometimes the skin care) but most of it is very physically demanding and Lynn can do nothing to help with it except cooperate with what I do to him. Once this morning routine is completed, the rest of the day is pretty basic attendant type care (assist with eating, getting things to drink, changing position, helping him write, etc.). At night, the work increases again with preparing meals etc., for the next day, bath time, night time rituals, etc. Including my own personal care and feeding, it takes about five hours to get it all done and get us to bed. Again, the work is not complex care; just physical and time consuming. None of this is complicated but all of it is necessary to maintain quality of life that is not miserable every minute of every day till you die so it’s very important stuff. It is also stuff that if you cannot do on your own, is very, very expensive to have someone else do for you unless you are fortunate enough to have family or friends to help you out.

Continue reading at https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/realities-of-life/

Posted in Ms Journey | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Did You Miss Me?

Some of you have noticed that I have not been writing for a couple of months because you have sent me messages asking if I was okay. Thank you very much for checking on me. It’s humbling to know there are people that I don’t even know who care about me and lift me up in their prayers. Thank you.

It’s been about two months since I last wrote. During that time I have been in the emergency department three times for abdominal migraine attacks that I could not control at home. I started having attacks of severe abdominal pain in February. Initially the ED staff thought it was appendicitis but that was ruled out on CT. The next time it occurred in March, they thought maybe I had an intestinal infection because they could see two areas of thickening on the CT and my white blood cells were elevated. I was given a course of antibiotics and an anti-fungal (to be on the safe side) and survived the additional trauma of a two week encounter with their side effects. I was feeling pretty good about things when in May it happened again and the ED doctors said they didn’t have a clue what was going on; I should see a gastroenterologist.

It took a while to get a specialist appointment but I saw someone around the first of June. Five minutes into my visit, he said, “You have abdominal migraines.” What in the world is that? I thought to myself. He went on to explain that they are similar to headache migraines; same mechanism of action. There is usually an aura (Yep, I had that), they come on and get progressively worse and then go away with or without treatment (that seemed to be true), and between episodes everything was perfectly normal (Yep, that was true, too). Abdominal migraines usually affect children but can affect adults who have chronic migraines as well (that was me). Great, I now had a diagnosis and a series of medications to try when I had an attack. What I have found so far though is that the medications are either not strong enough or I’m waiting too long to take them. As with every new diagnosis, there is always a learning curve required before you find the right treatment plan.

Continue reading at: https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/did-you-miss-me/

Posted in Ms Journey, Physical effects | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Something New to Deal With

Every time Lynn starts acting differently for several days in a row, I start to wonder if it means there’s some new problem we have to face. MS can affect so many different body parts and functions that I just never know if a new problem is MS or something else.

For instance, Lynn has been sleeping a lot. He talked to his dietitian who thought he needed more protein in hisdiet; so, we added two protein shakes a day. He loves them and he is putting on a little more weight (he lost a lot dieting and not tracking how much he was losing) which is probably a good thing, but he still sleeps much more than he used to sleep. Now, I know MS causes fatigue and I know that our sleeping habits are poor because he wakes so often to empty his bladder but is this just the natural order of MS; lots of fatigue leading to the need for more sleep? Should he sleep this much if he’s tired or does sleeping a lot cause him to feel tired? Could be either. Should I be concerned or just let it go as part of the normal course of MS?

Continue reading at: https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/something-new-to-deal-with/

Posted in Emotional Effects, Physical effects | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I’m No Angel

I admit my life is very busy and very difficult. I also admit I manage it pretty well, but just because I have to do some pretty difficult tasks day after day and I keep doing them, doesn’t make me an angel. I realize that most people who are not full time caregivers are amazed at what I do and how I manage but that just means I know stuff and I have abilities and that God blessed me with a servant’s heart that allows me to meet these challenges without quitting. It does not make me an angel.

I bet if you’re a caregiver, you’ve been called an angel a time or two, also. It’s a compliment that is intended to reward you for all your hard work, and I admit, it sounds nice, but when someone tells me I’m an angel, I’m embarrassed and I feel guilty because I’m far from being an angel.

continue reading at: https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/im-no-angel/

Posted in Emotional Effects, Ms Journey, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment